Positive Parenting: The one thing that can NEVER be a punishment

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Before you continue reading, if you want to learn more about the foundations of Positive Parenting, we would recommend that you would begin by reading this article first.

Let’s face it, kids are not easy to educate.

In fact, education can easily be the biggest challenge we have as parents.

And if you’re like us and have a toddler at home, you know how hard it is to reasoning with them sometimes.

And, although we try to follow some Positive Parenting principles, we can’t assure to remain positive all the time.

It is simply not possible.

And, as parents ourselves, we won’t tell you that there is a miracle way to deal with our kids sometimes bad behavior.

We simply can’t.

Because there isn’t.Each kid is different.

And each parent is also different.

But sooner or later, punishment becomes a solution to teach our kids something.

We use punishment to teach them about not doing something again, for not saying something again or any other bad behavior.

What punishments?

Here, parents are allowed to use creativity based on your kids’ preferences.

Will you take technology away for a few hours/days?

Do it.

Will they be without dessert?

Do it.

We’re sure you have some things that will let your kid really understand that the behavior should not be repeated.

But there is one thing that should NEVER be a punishment.

See, and before we talk about it, very briefly, take a step back.

Is punishment related to one positive or negative thing?

Correct, punishment is something that has a negative connection.

So, as a rule of thumb, you should not associate whatever punishment you give your kids with something that should ALWAYS be positive.

No ice-cream for you tonight!

The punishment is negative because they really like ice-cream, but that doesn’t mean ice-cream will be associated with a punishment in the future.

Because ice-cream is something kids are always ready to have.

Father’s comment: Speaking of ice-cream punishments, if you take away my frozen yogurt ice creams, you take my dinner dessert happiness. Gladly our kid thinks the same way and whenever we know we have the absolutely delicious frozen yogurt ice creams mom makes, we tend to behave better.

We work for a goal, right? And we like to have that final “perk” at the end.

But, there is something you should NEVER use as a punishment and we still see some parents doing this.

Going to bed should never be a punishment.

Even when we send them to bed earlier.

You don’t want to associate going to bed as a punishment.

Going to bed should always be a normal thing.

It’s part of a daily routine.

Are they going earlier?

Cool, they’ll have more energy the day after.

We all know that the bedtime process is not straightforward most of the days and adding that negative connection won’t do any good to it.

So, whatever you do to punish your kids, just leave the bedtime away from it.

And remember to only bring things your kids will value enough to understand that it is a real punishment, but they are not everyday necessities.

P.S. Knowing what not to use as a punishment is a way to avoid unpleasant situations. But understanding how to get kids to listen to you is how you can cut things by the root.

Just like we teach our kids to ask what they want, I’ll ask you to take a second to share “Positive Parenting: The one thing that can NEVER be a punishment” with your audience. They respect great content.


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2 thoughts on “Positive Parenting: The one thing that can NEVER be a punishment”

  1. Omg ive been freaking out because I feel like I’m a horrible parent… This has helped a lot..I have two toddlers a boy and girl.. My son is 3 1/2 and my daughter is 2.. I scream , cuss sometimes, I’m mean. I feel like sometimes .I know its not there fault they dont understand.I need help please.. What is a positive punishment. ?????

  2. Hi Naomi! It’s tough, and you shouldn’t blame yourself. Think of a positive punishment as something they will value and wouldn’t affect what you believe to be good habits. Going to bed should always be a good thing so you shouldn’t use it as a way to punish them in any way. Sometimes, in their age, the punishment is merely talking in a stronger way, just saying that you were about to go outside with them but as they act they way they’re doing you won’t do that anymore. Find a way that they’ll understand that they didn’t behave properly and make sure you tell them. Just don’t use things that are essential parts of your daily routine to punish them because they won’t understand and you might damage what is working over something that in an hour is completely gone. Stay confident Naomi! You need to check our article about the 50 truths that will smooth your parental stress.

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