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Parenting is a tough gig.
Kids these days are complicated, and it feels like they have more problems than we ever did as kids.
Sorry. It doesn’t feel. It’s the truth.
As parents, it can be really easy to feel helpless in the face of your child’s struggles.
And although there are so many things about parenting…
Books, Courses, Coaches…
You name it!
But we often get the best content and ideas from content outside our main topic.
And this is precisely what happened recently…
After we read a fantastic book on leadership.
And I promise you…
If you read this book as a parent…
You’ll find some fantastic things to share with your kids and help them become more confident kids.
You’ll find in this book an amazing set of tools and ideas that will help you become a more confident parent…
And better prepared your kid(s) for their future.
(You’ll find the book at the end of this article. That way, I expect you to understand why you should read it through your parent eyes)
Live in the Present
“The future is solely created in the present. The future can’t be created in any other place but the present. What an individual creates “now” determines what the new “now” or what we call the future will look like.” – quote from the book.
You are what you create now. In the same way, your kids will be highly influenced by the reality you present to them today.
Pay close attention.
I said, “the reality you PRESENT to them today.”
I didn’t say a thing about the actual reality.
It’s about the ideas and stances that you plant in your child’s mind.
This has been proven scientifically, so please don’t think that I’m just telling this as some sort of delusional conspiracy theory.
Our thoughts affect our bodies, and they also affect how others see us and how we see ourselves.
It’s in this present that we craft our future choices – it’s really quite fascinating how all of these things tie together!
What’s your child’s inner stance?
“It’s not where you want to go but where you come from that most determines your success and results in life. While it’s true that ‘where you want to go’ provides direction in life, ‘where you come from’ is like adding rocket fuel to the process. ‘Where you come from’ is the foundation of ‘where you want to go.'” – quote from the book.
Don’t take out your parent’s goggles just yet, ok?
I grew up in a household where we were expected to be the best.
For me, this meant I had to go to an Ivy League school and graduate with honors.
It also meant that I was expected not just to be successful but also extraordinary at whatever I did.
My parents never let me forget these expectations for a second.
They would remind me daily that no matter what happened…
They knew I could do anything so long as I believed in myself and refused to give up on my dreams…
Regardless of how difficult they may seem or how many obstacles stood in my way.
And they were right!
It’s not so much about where I want to go…
Or what I want to achieve.
The “success” comes from the foundation from where that thought came to life in the first place.
As parents, we demand and expect a lot about and from the future…
But we often forget to forge strong foundations today…
That will help our kiddos grow confidently and with clear objectives…
And not so much as dreamers, focusing too much on their dreams…
But not having the self-foundation to achieve them.
Craft the Present you want
“Most people have multiple inner stances that they function from daily. Sometimes people are so familiar with the stances they function from that they just assume the stances are “who they are” rather than something they either choose directly or choose out of agreement with someone or something else. They don’t realize that they can re-choose or re-create their stance when the current stance doesn’t serve them.” – quote from the book.
This is such a powerful idea that it’s hard for kids to understand at first…
But that we should bring to their attention every now and then.
Spoiler Alert: It’s critically important for you too, for the EXACT same reasons.
For instance, say you’re feeling really exhausted and frustrated rather than confident and productive.
That might make you feel like giving up before starting because it seems too hard to accomplish what you need to do to be happy with yourself – but the truth is: it’s not!
You can simply choose another stance and start again!
So whether your mood changes throughout the day or you know ahead of time, you’ll feel this way…
All it takes is that awareness to start refocusing and get on a new stance that will help you instead of pushing you down.
Kids’ mood is like a swinger on a windy day.
It doesn’t stop. Ups and downs.
Don’t expect them to master this stance idea, the same way you won’t master it yourself right off the bat.
But having this awareness, it’s enough to battle it…
And eventually, overcome a negative thought and become the confident, positive parent (and child) you want.
The book explores this “stance” idea and how to manipulate it to match our actual needs and desires.
As a parent, our goal is not to help them dream about their future.
As parents, we should help them understand how to master their present…
And build today, the future they want for tomorrow.
Because that is the authentic influencer of their future.
Read it from your “parenting eyes,” and enjoy it.
If you want to get more ideas, check the book’s reviews… also from your “parenting eyes.”
It’s an excellent present for the future foundation.