50 truths to smooth your parental stress (Part 2)

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26. A child puking, which will happen a lot and sometimes throwing up from their nose, it’s also not your fault. It’s also part of the growing process.

27. Raising a child is a controlled mystery where you have a solid idea about what might happen but you never know when that will happen, and odds are that whenever that happens, you won’t be ready for it. Whatever it may be.

28. A child falling and hitting their head on the floor is not your fault. It’s merely part of the growing process.

29. Speaking of reflection, a confident child learns to become confident from his or her confident parents. As well as a loving child will also learn that from reality he or she sees at home.

30. Kids can be bullied but kids can also bully and since everything is focused on those who get bullied, teach your kids to understand when they are being the bullies and use that to help them know what to do to defend themselves. They rarely realize they are being mean to someone if not told by an outsider.

31. There are specific ages for kids to learn something, and you shouldn’t try to have the brightest kid in the class (or the fastest newborn!). They’ll learn to read when everyone else will. Don’t skip growth stages as that will lead to social incomprehension and, most likely, to a massive drop in motivation and attention.

32. Practical parents are often viewed as cold and less caring but, on the other hand, we are also typically less complicated, more pragmatic and, as a result, we have a lot less parental stress.

33. No parent is perfect, and you must be ready to embrace failure and ignorance because those are things every single parent faces in their role as parents. And you won’t be any different. You may think (or wish!) you’re going to be perfect for your children, and you’ll be there for them all the time, but odds are that you won’t. At least not always. And you shouldn’t pressure yourself expecting that you will, because it’s healthy and essential for your children that you, and them, “fail” positively.

34. Children will break things. Objects and bones. Their own and sometimes someone else’s. That third generation Ming jar or merely that teacup you forgot on the edge of your dinner table. It’s normal, and there is nothing much you can do about it because whatever you do to hide things or if you make your children wear a helmet, by some sort of magic, they will always end up doing what they are destined to do. If not when they are babies, when they’re older playing football at home, throwing barbies or doing something apparently less dangerous. That Ming jar, as well as those knees, will always face the consequences.

35. Babies get sick very often, and you won’t be able to treat them as we do with adults, where we have a specific pill or syrup for everything. It’s very annoying to see them with a cold, or with something else and everything is handled the same way. And, more importantly, everything takes “ages” to go away.

36. Everyone has an opinion about what’s best for your children. Whatever they say, these are just opinions and should be treated as such. Decisions are up to you and your significant one and whatever you decide to do, you should embrace it and shouldn’t give any importance to the judgments others will do about it. Because they will.

37. A baby that won’t sleep has a reason for not doing it. It may be because he or she is starving, because of colic, because it’s not tired enough… we could name one hundred reasons for your baby not to be sleeping. As parents, and knowing how tough it can be to be sleep deprived, it’s your goal to pay close attention to the baby and learn why the baby is not sleeping as much as you would like him or her to do. As we said before, they don’t talk yet, but they can communicate what is happening. If sleep deprivation scares you, check this.

38. There will be a time when you want to buy peace with some technology, with a new toy or game. Remember that kids are brighter than we ever expect and you’ll be imprinting an expectation on them that each time you want some quiet time, you’ll have to reciprocate in any way. Will they have a dessert because they ended up eating the vegetables? Do that once, ok. Do that twice and have that dessert ready or you’ll face the consequences.

39. Crying is the baby’s primary way of communicating. Are they hungry? They’ll cry. Are they very sleepy? They’ll also complain, in the form of crying. Do they want you to hold them? Do they want a toy that is hidden? Do they want to sneeze? To blow up their nose? To poo? To change diapers? To remind you they are there? Crying… a lot of crying. But they’ll also smile. And you’ll be happy.

40. If you’re the dad, the first word will most likely be “mom,” and if you’re the mom, the first word will probably be “daddy.” If the two of you are together, the first word will most likely be “no” or “yes.” Things will never go as expected or as you wish they would. But that is part of the magic of being a parent. There will never be two same days.

41. Sooner or later you’ll get a phone call that will start with “Are you {place child’s name}’s mom/dad?”. Your heart will stop for a second after which it will rush like crazy. You may get this phone call from a nurse, from the police, from their teachers, principals, your child’s friends’ parents, etc. You’ll remember all the crazy stories you’ve heard or read before about other kids, and even if nothing happened, you would remain stressed until you hold your child in your arms.

42. It’s not that your child sleeps worse than your friend’s. The problem is that your sleep is a lot lighter.

43. Female partners (following tip #23), although you might not be ready or you might not have the same sexual need you had before the pregnancy or birth, your husbands will have a different expectation. It’s essential, as a couple, to freely chat about this subject to avoid missing expectations and, even worst, a growing physical separation between you two.

44. Your babies are and should be your priority, but that doesn’t mean you should neglect yourselves as a couple. A couple that talks to each other, that love each other, that respect each other and that still finds time for a date is a couple that will naturally be more caring, supportive and loving to their babies.

45. Have you ever caught a cold? Yes? One that made you sneeze for a couple of days, got a bit of temperature, a headache… Got one of those? Wait until you get one from your kids. You’ll become a zombie, sneezing will be your primary language, your head will explode, and you’ll be without any shred of energy. Nothing. Zero. (Guess who wrote this tip? Yes… a dad… moms, have patience…).

46. If you think to introduce your child to solids was a challenge, wait until you try to introduce any new food to a toddler.

47. Do you usually drive your kids to school or after school? Do you swear a lot in traffic jams or complain about how old people drive in roundabouts or don’t sign when they suddenly turn right? Your baby is seated in the backseat watching everything and ready to mirror you. Our kids learned a few “bad words” from our traffic tantrums.

48. Speaking of tantrums, you probably saw other kids having tantrums in public, and you judged those parents for being horrible parents, right? Ready to bite that tongue? Well, learning more about their habits and how to influence them is a great way to escape the ultimate public judgment.

49. There is a time for everything, and your children most likely won’t understand why you celebrate your younger child burps and farts but if it is your older son’s burps or farts it’s not funny, and they should stop doing it immediately. Take the time and have the patience to explain it to them.

50. A baby’s CPU is hardwired to the habits you plant in it. Learning how to influence those habits is something you might want to learn about.

Which one would you love to frame in your living room to never forget?

If you would like to re-check the first 25 truths to smooth your parental stress, you can check them here.

Feel free to comment below with your choice.

We would love to read about it.

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