We are Practical Parents!
(or at least we try...)
Who are "Practical Parents"?
Practical Parents are busy moms, stay-at-home dads, freelance moms, busy dads, constant traveling moms, single moms and dads, parents without their own parents to support them, 9 to 5 moms and dads; anyone who, indifferent to their situation, demystify the typical parenting challenges and live by their own standards, (almost!) stress-free.
... basically, anyone who chooses to become a "stress-free" parent by:
1. Trusting their own instincts,
2. And accepting that babies will be more than fine with the "below-average" version of themselves.
Practical Parents are those who know and accept as natural that things won't always go as planned. That you won't be able to control it all.
In fact, it is healthy not to control everything.
Your kids (and yourself!) will thank you for that.
As parents, our primary goal is to prepare our kids to be able to live autonomously after we're gone.
Yes, it's harsh to say it like this, but it is what it is.
As parents, we are here to teach, guide and support our kids in the learning process, in their development.
And, as we usually say when they're learning to walk, that after they fall they need to get up and try again, we, as parents, need to accept that our babies will fall.
A lot more often than we expected.
And they need to fall.
It will make them more aware of themselves and their surroundings.
A calm parent usually is someone who accepts that those falls are part of the growing process.
Sometimes it's actually healthy to laugh at it.
We weren't born practical parents
Probably no one is.
It's a significant change when your first baby is born.
You might have read a thousand books or articles about parenting. You might have helped your brother or sister raising their babies. You might have supported your friends raising their babies...
But now it is your own.
Now it's your own little being that you need to take care of.
The little being that, at the end of the day, will stay with you when everyone else returns to their homes.
That's enough pressure already.
You don't need to add any extra pressure to this.
But odds are that you will.
And it won't be just a bit of pressure.
You'll add a lot of it.
You'll expect everything to be perfect, that your baby will be safe all the time, that you and your partner will agree about everything related to how to raise your baby...
But things won't be like that.
And the sooner you know it and embrace it, the better.
It's a fantastic journey to watch your babies grow.
And being able to influence the outcome of that journey in the most critical years of their personality development is quite a challenge.
The 4 different parenting styles
You'll read about the four different parenting styles:
The authoritarian or disciplinarian parent, where the focus is on obedience and punishment as the way to discipline.
You'll also read about the permissive or indulgent parenting style, which is basically the opposite from the authoritarian one, where parents don't enforce rules.
You also have the authoritative parenting style where the focus is on creating positive relationships but always assuring the importance of rules.
Finally, you have the uninvolved parenting style where parents, not always consciously, provide little guidance, nurturing or attention.
Bare in mind that there is no right or wrong and each parent can fall into any of the parenting styles mentioned before.
In fact, if you haven't faced it before, you'll soon understand throughout a single day, in different situations, you might embrace different parenting styles.
Part of being a practical parent is to understand how your mood will influence how you'll act as a parent.
For instance, you're tired, browsing your Instagram app, you might become an uninvolved parent for some time.
But earlier that day, when you were fresher, you had the time and patience to be an authoritative parent, spending time with your child and nurturing a positive relationship between the two of you.
But hey, your child spilled coffee on your computer, and now you lost the presentation you were finishing to present your boss tomorrow. It's time for the disciplinarian you.
On the other hand, you're just not in the mood, you feel a bit tired, and your child asks if he/she can play for a bit, you look at the child... "Yeah, whatever... do what you want."
Being a parent is pretty much an emotional rollercoaster. One that you can assume you won't be able to control all the time.
And we, at No Stress Parents, assume that we won't be able to control it all.
Of course, we like to nurture positive discipline, nourish a positive and honest relationship with our children, but we also know that sometimes we'll have to raise our voice to get our message through.
And there are a lot of things where we, as parents, will see our tolerance being tested.
The bad nights where we'll finally get to know what sleep deprivation really means. We actually got to learn that from our second son.
While the first one slept the entire night after his third month, the second one took over a year to start sleeping through the night.
You'll also have the "I don't like that" before-tasting-the-food patience test...
That is why we sometimes go from caring and very supportive parents to little parenting Hulks.
And we, as practical parents, know that that is normal.
Sometimes it is refreshing to read the 50 truths to smooth your parental stress.
Sometimes you just need to let go.
Always remember that the standard version of yourself is pretty much enough to assure your child will have everything he or she needs to be a happy child.
If you feel a slight discomfort about this and you feel that the standard version of yourself won't be enough, it's probably time for a reality check.
At No Stress Parents, our goal is to help you understand that you have it all.
To live a quieter, calmer and happier parenthood.
Welcome, and enjoy.
We do hope we can help in some way.
Isabel and Pedro